


no body no crime

by chamomile_and_caramel



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Floris | Fundy Needs A Hug, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Songfic, he gets one but also dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28982742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamomile_and_caramel/pseuds/chamomile_and_caramel
Summary: a songfic in which dream cheats, proceeds to dispose of fundy's body, and wilbur exacts revenge(no blood but still deaths, also the relationships aren't really important)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Floris | Fundy & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	no body no crime

**Author's Note:**

> So as said in the summary, there is no blood, however there are two deaths so if you're still uncomfortable with that, this is a warning. Also said in the summary, this is NOT a FWT or DNF fic, this is just a songfic that happens to reference them. Also I recommend listening to 'no body no crime' by Taylor Swift while reading this.

A fall wind blew through the land, stirring up fall leaves. They danced about, gossiping of the latest news. _Have you heard, have you heard? The speedrunner and admin is cheating on his fiancé with his best friend!_

Wilbur was worried for his son. The fox hybrid and the musician met up as they did weekly at random places, this time next to Tommy and Lani’s restaurant. Wilbur had brought the food (potatoes because there was an overabundance of them, he had half a mind to burn the whole stash) and Fundy had brought the wine. There were different selections of different alcohols, which was the first red flag. The next one was when under the influence of the vodka (again, why not just normal white wine), Fundy told him about everything.

“He comes home giddy and smelling like someone else.”

Ah, Wilbur had nearly forgot that his son’s hybrid status gave him heightened hearing and smell, as was the case for most hybrids.

“And the flowers he bought certainly aren’t for me.”

Looking closer, the musician noticed dark circles under Fundy’s eyes. He was losing sleep over this. When Wilbur told him of the observation, the response told him enough, though it was amplified by the other warning signs.

“How can I sleep when the bed is always empty, and the few times it isn’t, Dream’s pine tree scent mingles with vanilla instead of elderberries?”

After that, they steered clear of that topic and instead talked of simpler things, such as what to do with all the potatoes they’d acquired. He makes sure to hug his son before leaving. Throughout the whole time Wilbur was still thinking of the server admin’s infidelity. Surely Dream, who had no cares about simple things such as not cheating, would at least break up with Fundy first.

Oh who was he kidding. Of course Dream would cheat, if only for the thrill of not getting caught. _Well guess what, you green cheating bastard. I’m going to catch you._

Wilbur sat on L’Manberg’s docks. It used to be stilts, but the crater had gotten filled and now the land was a pretty lakeside country. A guitar sat in his lap, though it hadn’t been touched. No, this wasn’t a peaceful day. There was police tape scattered around Fundy’s house, and Wilbur was watching the scene unfold. He was stoic from the outside, though from the inside he was panicking. Who would kill Fundy, a fox who wasn’t an important part of the government and had more or less stayed away from politics? There was no reason to; Wilbur had been revived and so his son wasn’t an orphan anymore.

Except there was one person on the server who didn’t need a reason. Wilbur begins to strum the guitar, getting up to leave. Walking to his old house, he picks up his coat which he hadn’t needed in a long time. Winter was coming in anyways; no one would suspect. Wilbur slides it on and trades the red beanie for a brown one. The musician realized he looked like he did back in the Pogtopia days, but it blended in better. A yellow sweater and a bright red beanie was eye-catching (that was the whole point, after all). No one would look twice at a raggedy old coat and a hat with more holes and tears than he could count. Wilbur makes it a point to hang around Dream’s new house in New L’Manberg (the country built off of a place he’d destroyed more than once, which is just adding insult to injury). Sure enough, a certain brunette moves in. Dream invites Wilbur in for tea once, and Wilbur takes note of the bed, now having pillows on both sides. It’s being used, and Wilbur is sure that it’s the first time in months that’s occurred.

Now a well known fact on this server is that people don’t like Dream. Even the Dream Team, even George, who is the reason for Fundy’s death, hangs around out of habit. No one likes a manipulative asshole who uses people. So surely no one would mind if someone were to… dispose of him.

Ranboo probably wasn’t the best alibi, so instead Wilbur went to Eret, also not the best alibi because why would General Soot have dinner with the traitor? Not that it mattered, the deed was done anyways. Ghostbur had been excellent with potions, not just drugs. With the revived Wilbur’s combined knowledge, he was able to slip a knockout drug into Dream’s tea the next time they talked (George was asleep and had no clue of Wilbur coming over. A strange fatal flaw, but it worked out in Wilbur’s favor so he wasn’t going to complain.)

With no witnesses, Wilbur rowed out a very unconscious Dream out to the DreamSMP’s lake, now close to freezing over. It was chilly, and the musician could see his breath in the air.

Each rowing motion created small waves of almost-frozen water gasping for breath, jumping out of the surface only to fall with a splash back in, giving more droplets of water false hope for escape. Soon they’d have a companion in the form of a frozen corpse.

Wilbur shoved Dream into the water. If he’d found Frost Walker boots, he could keep him trapped there, but the admin would die soon anyways. Speaking of, who would admin powers go to? With the chaotic theme the server had, it’d probably go to Drista and she’d either torture them or spoil them. Knowing her, she’d do both. As for the consequences, he really didn’t care. Wilbur didn’t want to go back to being insane (he remembered the anguish it had caused his loved ones), but he couldn’t care less about what prison sentence or whatever his punishment would be. The snowflakes danced to the musician’s guitar playing when he got back to the docks of New L’Manberg. They whispered, _h_ _ave you heard, have you heard? The great speedrunner is dead!_

**Author's Note:**

> My poor, poor google search history thinks I'm a murderer (surprisingly not from research for this fic) and an alcoholic.


End file.
